Archive for January, 2011
The USA Fish is even more awesome because (although you can’t see it from the picture I have here), it’s stuck on the back of a brand new Suburban. After the Green Movement killed the Hummer, the Suburban took it’s place for those who wanted to own the road and be owned by the local gas station. I know, some of you need the Suburbans (I drive one for the funeral home all the time and haul all sorts in the back … who knows, I could be hauled in the back of that thing one snowy evening after a fist fight with Chuck Norris), but what makes me laugh is that they DIDN’T use the Prius to advertise their USA Fish. I guess their marketing gurus figured that Christian Patriot = Republican = Oil Lover = Suburban?
The Bush Fish isn’t really relevant anymore, but you can still increase your awesome with this decal … lest you forget that God himself (and the Supreme Court) put Bush in office. What confuses me is that “Bush” is like 10x larger than “God” … I knew W was like twice as powerful, but 10x is a bit overkill.
And finally — although I think Sarah Palin’s been subjected to media cruelty — I think this video may cause even the cold glass from Alaska to snicker. Aside from wondering where the creepy background voice is coming from in this video, I also questioned the one line in the chorus, “cold as hell.” I thought the term was suppose to be “hot as hell”? Maybe it’s just a nifty play on words that is over my head … yeah, it’s probably over my head. Nevertheless, if you want to increase your godly patriotism, this song is an item you should learn and teach your church congregation before Obama outlaws church.
>Joseph Myers writes in his introduction to “The Search to Belong” that “we live in a culture that now prioritizes belonging over believing” (6). This idea seems to be a major thrust in the EMERGING CHURCH and provides for Myers a foundational preamble to his thoughts on belonging. And while it may be true that today’s culture prioritizes belonging above believing, can it be said as well that today’s culture values belonging SUPREMELY?
Sure, when one pits “belonging” against “believing”, the idea of belonging is sure to win out because postmodernity has placed “believing” (at least in the evangelical sense of believing) at nearly the bottom of the cultural priority list. Today’s culture values just about anything above believing. In some sense, this foundational preamble for the emerging church (and Myers’ book) is a strawman of sorts. What happens when one pits “belonging” against “self-pursuits” … like getting the job we want, or the education we want? Or, what happens when one pits“belonging” against “material possessions” in the cultural fighting ring of clashing ideas? I think I know a lot of people who would take an iPad over belonging. It would seem that both self-pursuit and material possessions would beat belonging by knockout in the first round.
In assessing generational trends, Jean Twenge terms those who were born in the eighties (and later seventies) up to today as “Generation Me.” She farther defines what she means when she writes, “GenMe is not self-absorbed; we’re self-important. We take it for granted that we’re independent, special individuals …” (Generation Me; 4).
She builds on the idea of the current generation being self-important by stating, “GenMe trusts no one, suggesting a culture growing ever more toward disconnection and away from close communities. Trusting no one and relying on yourself is a self-fulfilling prophecy in an individualistic world where the prevailing sentiment is ‘Do unto others before they do it to you’” (36).
Twenge states that all of the self-talk that GenMe has been given, such as “You’re Special” and “You can do anything you want to do in life” has produced in GenMe such a high expectation for themselves that it has resulted in an incredibly high amount of stress and anxiety as GenMe attempts to fulfill their high expectations of themselves.
She states, in conclusion, that ANXIETY and LONELINESS are two of the major byproduct of all the self-focus and self-pursuit … unless, of course, you can find a bunch of other people who totally ENJOY focusing, pursuing, serving and loving on YOU. Unless you’re Kim Jong-il or some Saudi prince, you probably don’t have a crowd of people wanting to join you in your own pursuit of yourself.
Robert Lane writes, “There is a kind of famine of warm interpersonal relations, of easy-to-reach neighbors, of encircling inclusive memberships and of solid family life” (The Loss of Happiness in Market Democracies; 9). What happens during a time of famine? People look for food. And what happens when that famine is relational? They start looking for belonging.
Community, life together, family, church, sharing physical possessions, the new monasticism … all these things are a rebellion of sorts against the cultural assumptions of GenMe.
Belonging, it would seem is not only valued above believing, but it may be that belonging may SOON be valued above the self.
TO BE CONTINUED …
>Last week I began to elaborate my alien conspiracy theory. This week, I found these bite marks on my cheek after I awoke from a night’s sleep. I fear that my exposure of the alien identity has caused me to be the subject of their intense scrutiny; possibly even the subject of a highly technical implantation – thus the marks on my cheek.
If I happen to disappear in the next couple months, it is not because Santa decided he needed a funeral director to bury the poor elves who are being struck with post-Christmas dysentery; nor is it because I’m secretly involved in a drug cartel that ships cocaine in coffins; nor is it due to me running away in a love tempest with the dragon lady from Cirque de Soleil; nor is it that I have been hired to become Kim Jong-il’s human bed step … no, if I disappear, it is most likely that millions of stink bugs have latched onto my body and have flown me to their mother ship.
If I happen to go crazy and start writing facebook status updates like, “Has anyone really been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?” and then personally respond to said status update with a reply of “Who said that?” … know that it is not me but the alien implantation jibberjabbering for me to know that furthermore conclusively will be.
My breath — although normally shouting of Lancaster County Spring Air smell (which I usually cover over with Altoids) — has been changing scents over the past couple days … it is becoming more and more like the smell of stink bug spray. This has led me to believe that possibly the stink bugs have laid eggs in my body and are this very moment hatching in my internal organs.
Finally — and this is an IMPORTANT CONCLUSION — this evidence, though circumstantial thus far, leads me to believe that not only is my alien theory correct, but, due to the harm they may be causing me, THEY ARE NOT ALIENS OF PEACE like our good friend Optimus Prime. Without going all Antonio Dodson on this blog, I must say that I fear for our children, our wives, husbands. It may be time to trade the cash in for gold and bug spray.
>Questions become sacred when they don’t have a simple answer or maybe no answer at all. Or, they become sacred when the answer is like a river. The answer may have a name, but the makeup of the answer is always changing, always shifting, all new, yet always the same and at times blending with other answers of lesser names, eventually to flow into a vast expanse with a greater name.
In business, a sacred question would be, “How can we offer better?” This question will have answers, but like Apple knows as well as anyone, that answer MUST always change, evolve and improve … or you will lose your base.
In vision casting, a sacred question is, “How will the world be different tomorrow as a result our speaking today?”
In ethics, we can ask a similar sacred question, “How can I ‘love’ better?” Or, “How can I be a better neighbor?” The question is sacred because, once again, it is fluid … as a river, moving, changing in different directions, yet having a name.
In religion, the sacred questions are, “Is there a God?” and, if you answer the first, “What is he like?” I, as a believer in Jesus, believe he has a name. But the day that name becomes static, the day the question loses its sacredness is the day I’ve lost His path.
What are your sacred questions?
>LeBron has embraced what some are calling a “villain persona.” With the report that LeBron has recently dissed “Lil Wayne”, I began to wonder as I was immersed in my utter compassion for “Lil Wayne”, “What more could LeBron possibly do to farther extend his ‘villain persona’ and become even more hated?” So, LeBron, after some intense prayer and fasting, I have some suggestions that could increase your villaintude:
1. You could change your name from “LeBron” to “King”. Sports writers would love you for the change, as it would give them ample headline fodder like “King of Kobe”, “King Humbles Warriors”, “A King in Philly” and “The King of the Court” and other dumb sports titles … but the rest of us who aren’t sports writers would hate you. And, as an addendum with special regards to J. Andrew Hostetler’s comment below, if you did change your name to “King” that would make you “King James” and would make just about anything you said biblical (codex #6), giving you immense FALSE authority and inciting the hatred of all Christians everywhere as well as all good Americans. Hate Points = 1000
2. You could date Winona Ryder. That would make me and a ton of other white males uber jealous (that Beetlejuice crush still hasn’t worn off … only after writing that, do I realize how weird that is). Hate points for LeBron = 10.
3. Instead of donating your proceeds from “The Decision” to the Boys and Girls Club, you could have donated the proceeds to the “Clone Bob Barker Foundation.” Being that Bob himself doesn’t like reproduction, he and the rest of us would hate you. H.P. = 500.
4. In retrospect, instead of having Jim Gray interview you for “The Decision”, you could have had Dick Clark do the interview … and snickered every time Dick speaks. Hate points for LeBron = 5.
5. You could become the new promo man for Gillette and advocate manscaping at the end of every interview, thus increasing the generational spike in pansy boys. H.P. = 5.
6. You could start wearing a fur coat made from Golden Retriever hide. Although, I think that’s illegal. H.P. = 200.
7. Right now, LeBron, you are a pretty intelligent interview – by athlete standards – although you’re nowhere near Brian Wilson status. Speaking about oneself in the third person has been done before by the likes of Rickey Henderson, et al, so it wouldn’t be entirely original, but I’m sure it might help increase the hateration if you did the, “LeBron is going to bring home the title; he’s going to win the M.V.P. and he’s going to make fun of your Mama” stick. H.P. = 316.
Being that I help perpetuate the whole “white boy can’t jump” or play basketball stereotypes, I really don’t have much experience with basketball and count it a “win” that I could even do the preceding basketball related villain suggestions. But, I’m hopeful there may be better educated suggestions for LeBron’s increased villiantude from some more aptly skilled ballers. Please, help the cause by commenting below.