The first thing you should do is read my alien conspiracy theory blog post concerning the stink bug.  And then you should read about the harm that “mysteriously” befell upon my face.  After reading those two posts, you will have an idea about how crafty these little demon spawn from outer space can be.  Know your enemy.

You may already know that stink bugs can survive insect spray.  I know … totally crazy and one more reason to adhere to my theory.

You can’t vacuum them.  That’s what they want.  It’s like martyring Christians.  When you suck them into your vacuum, their smell is multiplied a thousand fold.  And you and all your household is tarnished by their technologically superior chemical weaponry.

You can’t squish them.  Have you tried and lived to tell about it?  If so, email me your story at caleb.wilde@gmail.com and I’ll post it here on this blog.  We need your story to encourage those of us who have lost loved ones.

I’m going to share with you the proper method of stink bug disposal.  I asked a hand model if he could help me out with the photos, but he was too afraid he might be either attacked in his sleep or sprayed.  Understand that this is very sensitive knowledge and could bring great harm upon my life and my wife and my dog, Yogi.  Normally, I would recommend knocking the stink bug into a cup and then dumping said stink bug into the toilet.  But, under extreme duress, there may be times you MUST pick them up with yourbare hands.

Step 1: Approach the Bug with Caution as it could Strike at any time

Step 2: Cautiously grab stink Bug firmly by the sides of the Bug ... or, if you too believe that they are small Alien space ships, then grab by the Port and Starboard Sides

Step 3: Don't be all cute in your near victory and try and flick the Bug, just gently drop it into the toilet. You can let it drown, or if you have compassion ... which I don't ... simply flush it. Step 4: Celebrate one small victory for mankind.

DO NOT pick up stink bug and place in your palm. This photo was done for demonstration purposes with a dead stink bug and should not be practiced with a live stink bug.

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