Nicki and I have been married going on nine years!  We’ve been trying for children for about seven of those nine.  And after going through much practicing and numerous fertility meds that had ill effects on Nicki, a couple years ago (maybe four years ago for Nic and two years ago for me) we started the grieving process that comes with infertility.

Supposedly, there’s no “reason” we can’t have children, but for one reason or another, we just aren’t … and this “reasonless” childlessness had left us in a sort of couple year limbo of “what should we do?”

Love desires to give and it suffers when that giving is stifled.  I like to believe that God created us, not so he could receive more worship from us, but because he wanted another outlet for his love.  He created out of love so that he could love!  And, in many ways, we as His children, help define His very identity!

It hurts when you have all this desire to give out and nowhere to put that giving.  So, Nicki and I have found avenues for our love at The Point and of course Yogi the dog has been helpful.  But, the desire for this married couple is to pour out that love/giving and heart into children.

If you’ve ever been “infertile” you know it can be a label.  It’s a label that says, “I can’t have children.”  And, if a couple lets it, that label can start to define them.  But, Nicki and I, as so many other “infertile” couples have done, are rebelling against the label!  We’re not letting it define who we are.  We aren’t believing that, as some have insinuated, “Maybe it’s just God’s will for you two.” Sure, we may not be able to have biological children, but that will not stop us from being parents!

So about a year ago we started doing our due diligence in looking for an appropriate adoption agency.  And last December we settled on using Bethany to help us write our family’s story.  We made the decision to go with Bethany mainly because we made some personal connections with some of the employees at Bethany and some other families who allowed Bethany into their story.  We’re excited!

We’re in the beginning stages of this process, so I guess you could say that we’re expecting! We’re expecting new life.  We’re expecting to have our identities changed.  We’re expecting a child that we can love and pour into and show them the awesome love of God.

We’re so very thankful for our awesome friends who are supporting us and filling out all the paper work that Bethany is sending their way!  We’re so thankful that we have friends who love us and are joining in helping us write this story.  We’re thankful for our family that has supported us every step we’ve taken.

And we’re so very thankful for that pregnant mother … out there some where, maybe, at this very moment in a state of confusion, wondering “how”, “why” “can I” and “what if” … who is/will bravely carrying her child to term … her child that will be carried by her love and sacrifice to our home.

We’d love to invite you to pray with and for us as we go through this emotional process!

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