I hate it when people litter.  It really ticks me off.

And what really makes me mad is when people litter used toilets.

According to the New York Times, a Milk Carton takes about 5 years to bio-degrade, a plastic bag — 10 to 20, while a beer can takes about 200 to 500.

Anyone want to take a guess on a toilet bowl?  Something to the tune of 20,000 plus years.

You and I are getting upset about littered coke cans, beer bottles, and numerous people are taking up the cause to recycle this waste … WHO’S TAKING UP THE CAUSE TO RECYCLE OR REUSE OLD, DISCARDED TOILETS?

Let me tell you who is: ME! That’s right.  And I’m telling you it’s time to get creative.  It’s time to contact your local congressman or congresswoman and let them know about the single most overlooked piece of pollution crap.

Sure, recycling plastics and metals is backed by the government and has a strong lobbying group in congress … why?  $$$$  There’s money to be made in recycling plastics and metals, but where’s the money to be made in recycling used thrones?  Are you going to let the money blinded capitalists of our world ruin this beautiful country by allowing used toilets to be thrown along the highways and byways of America?

The reality is this: you might pick up a littered beer bottle off the street, but who’s going to pick up a littered john?  “Nobody wants the john!” you say.  Well, tell that to the kid who poops in the corner of his room because his toilet’s broken!  “I can’t turn it in and get 5 cents per john!” you say.  Well, is 5 cents all it takes to motivate you … how cheaply bought is your soul?

All this came to a head for me, when, over this past weekend I had to replace my throne.  I was uber excited about it, being tired with the old john and how wasteful it was with it’s 5 gallon flush and it’s weak flushing power.  I went out to Home Depot and got me one that will both use less water (under two gallon flush) and be super strong in the down “g”s.

That excitement was flushed when I had my new toilet in and didn’t know what to do with the old.  Realizing there was no way to recycle it, and realizing that struggle is the mother of invention and being that that toilet had seen a lot of struggle and being that my mother invented me, I decided I’d try and make myself happy by inventing a car out of the toilet that would run solely on human fumes.

After pounding down lentil cereal for breakfast, I recorded my first try:

I will try and try again until I get it right.

Anyways:

WHAT ARE YOUR CREATIVE IDEAS FOR RECYCLING THE OLD JOHN?

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