I graduate from seminary this Saturday.  And, for a number of reasons, I feel like I’ve reached a life milestone.

Over the next couple days, I’m going to write about things I don’t fully believe anymore.  I’ll call them “chastised ideas.”


Shawn Smucker and I were reminiscing about the Christian band, Delirious, the other night.  He was living in England at the rise of the band’s career, and was recounting how there was a big push in the U.K. to have their music played on pop radio stations.

I think the first album overworked and killed two or three of my CD players.  I listened to it constantly, learned about half the songs on my old Yamaha acoustic as I helped “I Could Sing of Your Love Forever” become a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Delirious had, like another much more talented band from the U.K. of another generation, captured the heart of a youth movement in their lyrics.  A mantle that I suppose has now been passed on to Hillsong.

I remember when the second Delirious album came out.

I was at the Creation Festival when it premiered.  The afternoon before their evening concert Delirious had an autograph session and I stood in line for about an hour, with about two hours’ worth of fans behind me.  As I waited an event staffer came up and cut the line off at the person behind me, making me the very last in line.

I walked up to the band … they were all sitting in a row with pens in hand, and I said, loud enough for them all to hear a rehearsed line that I can still remember: “I’m not interested in your autographs, I just wanted to let you know that your music has inspired me to have a deeper relationship with God.”    They didn’t say anything in response.  And then I walked away.

One particular song on the King of Fools album became an anthem for my life as high school came to an end and I entered YWAM.  “History Maker” was rift with lines I resonated with, such as “I’m gonna be a history maker in this land, I’m gonna be a speaker of truth to all mankind”.

Then “Lord of the Rings” came out.

And all of a sudden many of us young evangelicals thought we could be Frodo, the bearer of the ring, chosen at this specific time, to take down evil.  As I watched “Fellowship” for the umpteenth time, I remember mouthing with Frodo, “I will take the ring to Mordor.  Though – I do not know the way” while in my heart I was thinking, “Lord, here I am.  Send me!”

And over a decade later, I’m a funeral director.

Although I still want to change the world for the better.  I’ve been chastised, as I think many of us have … realizing that God hasn’t chosen me to change the world.  He’s chosen us.

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