Hurricane Irene Killed My Camper
I have sleep apnea.
And I love camping.
But my sleep apnea demands a CPAP machine so that I don’t choke on my flabby throat skin that folds over when I lay down to sleep.
And the CPAP machine demands electric.
Being that I’m pretty sleep deprived without my CPAP machine, I had to give up on the camping.
That is, until I had the genius idea to buy a cheap camper.
IT WAS A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN!
Not only is camping AWESOME, and my camper TOTALLY AWESOMEST, but camping is really CHEAP and totally the best short vacation for this stressed out funeral director / seminary student / soon to be adoptive parent and my beautiful wife.
And my dog, Yogi, loves it too!
But, Hurricane Irene stormed through on early Sunday morning and murdered my lovely traveling vacation spot!!!
Nicki and I are no longer happy campers …
This is what I’m going to put in the newspaper:
“Shorty” Sunline passed away tragically on Sunday, August 29, 2011 from unnatural nature causes.
“Shorty” was born in 1982. ”Shorty” enjoyed short stays in the local campgrounds, but would occasionally travel long distances. He especially loved his annual trips to Raystown Lake and unfortunately missed this year’s trip by one week.
He will be fondly remember for his lovely cold Air Conditioning, his nice, clean smelling cabin and the joyful times he spent with Yogi the dog.
The funeral service will be held at the convenience of his owners and/or anyone who is willing to pull him out from under the tree that landed on top of him.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the “Buy Caleb Wilde a New Camper” fund.
I’m going to take a couple weeks to grieve (right now I’m just walking around like a zombie), and then I’m going to see if I can’t get some insurance money and go back on the market again to find more love.
So, if you would, leave me some condolences or some scripture to cheer me up as I grieve this awful, tragic murder. Or, share with me a storm related story of your own, where you too lost a beloved possession … let me know I’m not alone in this.