I Hate Animal Deaths
I still have blood on my shoe.
Last night Adam and I were taking the back way to the gym when we drove past a deer lying near the middle of our lane. At first glance it looked dead, but something didn’t register in my mind. For one, we were driving in suburbia where the speed limit is only 25 mph and with a stop sign every block, it’d take a Porsche to go over 25 in such a short stretch.
“Is it possible that this deer was killed by a car only traveling 20 mph?” I thought to myself.
So I turned around.
Put my car in park in the oncoming lane and faced my headlights on the deer. It wasn’t much of a deer … half way between a legit deer and fawn.
No sooner had I got out of my car, the deer opened it’s eyes and starting yelling. I say, “yelling” because that’s what it was communicating to me. The closer I got to it the more it became nervous and started to thrash around in the middle of the road. It tried to get up and run but it’s front legs couldn’t support it’s weight as something in it’s incredibly crafted form had been broken.
It had blood coming out it’s nose and mouth and anus. But all the damages must of been internal, because I saw no compounds or severe lacerations. And as I later surveyed the scene, I saw some pieces that belong to the undercarriage of a car, which probably meant that the deer had literally been run over.
I’m no hunter. I see enough death at the funeral home and I don’t think I have the guts to create it. If it wasn’t for sushi and wonderful holiday dinners, I’d be a vegetarian.
Especially related to animals. If I see a lost dog, or mangled animal on the road …. There’s some sense of innocence among animals, even predators. There’s a sense that they’re doing what they’re supposed to do with no moral evil in them. And to see innocence die is intrinsically senseless … as though we innately know that isn’t not supposed to be this way.
Because the deer was thrashing I tried to push him off the road with my foot so that he wouldn’t get hit again or cause an accident. It was a mutual effort. He thrashed, trying to escape my presence and I pushed with my foot and together we made it to the side of the road, near the grass.
Adam called 911, told the operator where the deer was at and when we came back the same way an hour later the deer was gone.
It was all disturbing. As we exercised, Adam and I wondered, “How do animals experience pain?” and “Is there a good death for creatures in the wild?” and “What constitutes a good death? Old age? A quick, swift death by car?” and “Is there a support system when an animal’s dying or do all animals die alone?”
I hate death. And I hate the death of animals.
And all this brings me to a question: What animal/pet death has been the hardest for you?