Real Zombies and More
I usually don’t post macabre articles here at Confessions of a Funeral Director, but this week has been packed with odd deaths and displays of near insanity, making me think that maybe the Zombie Apocalypse is nigh.
1. As many of you have heard, a naked man named Rudy Eugene of South Beach, Florida feasted on the face of a homeless man over the span of 11 minutes. Rudy literally ate the face off of 65 year old Ronald Poppo.
When police arrived to the scene, they fired one shot into Rudy, who then stopped eating, looked at the police officer and growled. After growling, he proceeded to eat more face. Upon remembering the “Double Tap” rule from “Zombieland”, the officer then fired three more shots into Rudy, killing him on site.
LSD is to blame.
Ronald Poppo lived. He’s in critical condition and expected to survive.
2. In New Jersey (which is arguable already in a state of Zombie infestation), one Wayne Carter was given a visit by the police when his neighbors noticed that Wayne was threatening himself with a kitchen knife.
When the cops came to Wayne’s house, he barricaded himself inside. The cops kicked in the door and told Wayne to put the knife down. At this point, Wayne cut open his stomach, disembowel himself and began throwing pieces of his intestine at the police. Wayne was eventually subdued and brought to the local hospital where he remains in critical condition. Here’s the article link.
3. Winner of this year’s Darwin award goes to 44 year old Pastor Mack Wolford. Mack was a snake-handling pastor. These pastors take literally the obscure passage in Mark 16:17-18 that states “And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will … pick up snakes with their hands.”
This quote from Yahoo:
Holding an outdoor service in which serpents were passed around among church members, Wolford was bitten in the thigh by a yellow rattlesnake as he sat on the floor next to it. The service was quickly disbanded as the pastor was taken to a family member’s house to recover, but he later died in hospital from poisoning.
First off, I would never go to that church. I hate snakes.
Secondly — and the reason Pastor Mack wins this years Darwin Award — is because Pastor Mack’s father died in the same manner back in 1983.
4.) Finally, this. Alexander Kinyua, a 21-year-old Morgan State University student, admitted to murdering his roommate Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodie. Alexander murdered his roommate. He then cut him into pieces. And then Alexander ate part of his roommate’s brain and the entirety of his heart.
Alexander wins the “Worst Roommate of the Year” award. Congrats, Alexander … your performance took a little brains and a whole lot of heart.
Here’s the link to the article.