Comments on: “Real” Men and Mourning

By: Stuff I’ve Been Reading

Stuff I’ve Been Reading — Sun, 12 Aug 2012 22:34:58 +0000

[...] important piece about grief and manhood from Caleb [...]

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By: Real Men « A Simple, Village Undertaker

Real Men « A Simple, Village Undertaker — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 21:41:39 +0000

[...] Real Men & Mourning 33.558707 -81.721125 Share this:EmailStumbleUponPrintFacebookTwitterDiggRedditLike this:LikeBe the first to like this. [...]

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By: Chad Jones

Chad Jones — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 21:41:00 +0000

Beautiful, Caleb! Someday I’ll tell you about how my dad handles death and loss and grief.

As far as I’m concerned, regressing feelings that way is a recipe for PTSD.

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By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 19:46:00 +0000

I couldn’t agree more, Caleb. Here in Dallas, the sports guys are talking about Andy’s toughness. They say things like this are what makes him a great coach. I think it’s so sad that toughness, manliness, and even professionalism are being defined this way. Thanks fro writing this!

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By: Community Christian Fellowship

Community Christian Fellowship — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 15:48:00 +0000

Ok, this happened one other time when I posted a comment – guess I really need to figure out why my account posts as my church! This is Jess Richardson – @PriscasVoice

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By: Community Christian Fellowship

Community Christian Fellowship — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 15:46:00 +0000

There is so much judgment and lack of understanding for people, and how they mourn and grieve. Maybe that’s because our culture doesn’t embrace the open showing of emotions, especially at funerals and wakes, or because we are just so uncomfortable with the whole topic of death and everything that goes along with it. I don’t know what it is, but more often than not, we botch it. Add this to the notion that men shouldn’t show emotion and you get comments like Kelce’s. Too bad, but not surprising. Thanks for sharing and speaking out on this topic… I totally agree with you.

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By: HopefulLeigh

HopefulLeigh — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 15:09:00 +0000

That’s so sad. While everyone grieves in their own way, the pressure to NOT show our grief in front of others can often lead to long-term negative repercussions. It’s healthy to mourn, to express our emotions- at home, at work, wherever. This Stoic Male Myth needs to end, for everyone’s sake.

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By: Caleb Wilde

Caleb Wilde — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 14:41:00 +0000

You’re right!

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By: Heretic Husband

Heretic Husband — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 14:04:00 +0000

And now the next time one of his players loses a loved one, they will probably feel pressure to behave the same way.

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By: Adrian Waller

Adrian Waller — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 13:45:00 +0000

Having that “group” you mention at the end of the post is the only thing that got me through the initial mourning at the unexpected loss of my dad when I was 18. I’m fine with admitting that I’m still mourning in my own way, though it may be different than it used to be. After all, that hole is still there, and always will be.

There’s no doubt in my mind that “caring for others” and “repressing emotion” are things still taught as “manly.” Those things are exactly what I did when I lost my father, and though I thought I was doing the “right” thing, it only made the loss more painful when the inevitable flood of emotions came back around.

Great thought-provoking post, Caleb.

P.S. – Go Chiefs! (Though my father-in-law likes the Eagles… second to the Chiefs, of course. =))

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