Posts tagged Fidel Castro
If we could give the honest pill to Muammar al-Gaddafi’s obituary writer, I wonder if it’d look something like this:
Muammar al-Gaddafi died violently on Thursday, October 20th at the hands of the people he had sadistically oppressed for decades.
He was the son of a wondering nomad, and the world wishes he would have followed in the footsteps of his father, learning the ways of his father instead of copying the Sith Lord.
Some speculate that Gaddafi may have been the richest person in the world, as he not only brutally murdered his people, but he managed to both exploit the land of its oil and the people who lived in it. He so naturally ate the wealth of the land and spit the left over trash to its people that he can aptly be described as an ass hole.
Gaddafi leaves behind, in addition to his estranged wife, four narcissistic sons, one of whom is named “Hannibal”, all of whom have abused their privileges, wealth, their nanny and even the family Chihuahua ”Stalin”; and one daughter, who is best known for being on Saddam Hussin’s legal counsel (is there anything more wicked than not only being a lawyer but being a lawyer who defends Saddam Hussin?).
He was predeceased by three sons, all who died violently at the hands of those they oppressed.
When asked to listen to his fellow North African leaders, Gaddafi once stated, “I am an international leader, the dean of the Arab rulers, the king of kings of Africa and the imam (leader) of Muslims, and my international status does not allow me to descend to a lower level”. Ironically, he made this statement while dressing like the King of Pop (see photo on left).
International leader: False.
Dean of Arab rulers: Lie.
King of Kings of Africa: This one is actually true, as a group of African tribal leaders bestowed the title on him after he *asked* them to do so.
Imam of Muslims: Bull.
In addition to being indicted on charges of crimes against humanity, which included feeding Viagra to his soldiers so they’d rape civilians more often, and killing untold numbers of his own people, he also had the generosity to set up the Al-Gaddafi International Prize for Human Rights, which was bestowed by Gaddafi himself on other great humanitarians such as Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro.
All enemies and haters are invited to view his body, which is currently being stored in a meat market outside of the city of Misrata.
Shortly before his death, Gaddafi was recorded as repeatedly telling his captors, “This is a sin for you to do this!”
What Gaddafi saw as sin, the world — and maybe even God — believe to be righteousness.
Gaddafi’s family would like to remind the other tyrants of the world to watch Star Wars observantly; and learn that those who live by the Dark Side, usually die by it.
In sum, Gaddafi was one part Donald Trump, one part 70s porn star, one part Lord Sith, wrapped up in a Mid-Eastern version of Michael Jackson’s wardrobe; a man whose death is more celebrated than his life, and whose dead body is being disrespected so that those he oppressed can find a semblance of self-respect.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the “Support Gaddafi as the Prince of Darkness in 2012″ Revolution Campaign fund. All proceeds will benefit Gaddafi’s attempt to supplant Satan as the ruler of Hell.