Caleb Wilde
(218 comments, 980 posts)
Posts by Caleb Wilde
Another Stupid Death Joke
10 years ago
by Caleb Wilde
in Aggregate Death
A dying woman gives each of her best friends — a lawyer, doctor and clergywoman — an envelope containing $25,000 in cash to be placed in her coffin.
A week later the woman dies and the friends each place an envelope in the coffin. Several months later, the clergywoman confesses that she only put $10,000 in the envelope and sent the rest to a mission in South America.
The doctor confesses that hes envelope had only $8,000 because she donated to a medical charity.
The lawyer is outraged, “I am the only one who kept my promise to our dying friend. I want you both to know that the envelope I placed in the coffin contained my own personal check for the entire $25,000.”
Blonde Death Joke
10 years ago
by Caleb Wilde
in Aggregate Death
I usually don’t stoop to the level of blonde jokes, but I stooped for this one:
A blonde gets her haircut while wearing a pair of headphones. The hairdresser asks her to take them off, but she protests that she’ll die without them.
The hairdresser sighs, and starts cutting the hair around the headphones. Soon, the blonde falls asleep, and the hairdresser removes the headphones. A few minutes later, the blonde collapses, dead on the floor. Alarmed, the hairdresser puts the headphones to his ear and hears, “Breathe in. Breathe out.”
A Stupid Death Joke
10 years ago
by Caleb Wilde
in Aggregate Death
A very old woman realizes that she’s seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart.
Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart. He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left nipple.
The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.
