Over-Our-Dead-Bodies-1There are a couple reasons funeral directors don’t tell their stories.

One, it takes a lot of tact to narrate funeral experiences that are so very personal, so sensitive and so interconnected.

Two, the stories are often too complex to tell.  We sit at the hub of multiple narratives – the deceased’s story, the family’s stories and our own personal stories – and bringing all these perspectives together in a neat digestible bit is no easy piece of writing.

And three – and perhaps the biggest reason – writer types don’t last long in this trade.  Verbal processors do well as funeral directors.  The introverted, self-reflective writer types can often be overburdened with the gravity of death-care.

But every once in a while writer-types succeed as funeral directors and they find a way to write tactful, digestible stories that put life in death.  Kenneth McKenzie and Todd Harra have not only done this once but twice in their co-written books, “Mortuary Confidential” and the newly released Over Our Dead Bodies. 

I just finished reading their newest edition, which is divided up by Ken writing some chapters and Todd writing some others.  Ken’s chapters read biographically.  And his first story is especially outrageous.  It tells of the police having to take over a funeral that went Jerry Springer.  As a sixth-generation funeral director, my family has a bunch of stories we like to tell, but NONE like this one.

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Ken McKenzie

Ken tells of his father’s suicide and how that event inspired him into the funeral trade.  He tells of his niche in the early 90s with deceased AIDS victims.  He tells of the growth of his business and his foray into charity, which included the fundraising 2007 and 2008 Men of Mortuaries Calendars (Ken was the mind and money behind those projects).  In fact, a portion of the proceeds from this book and the previous one go to Ken’s charity KAMM Cares, which helps women who are battling breast cancer.

Todd, a fourth-generation funeral director from Delaware, tells ten stories (from ten different people) that are dipped in beauty and morbid humor.  Todd’s paints a great story and he weaves together each funeral /death related story into a stand along piece.

Todd Harra

Todd Harra

Overall, not only do I recommend this book as a well-written peek into the funeral industry, I also recommend it philosophically. Ken and Todd are doing what funeral directors need to do to gain back the public trust that’s been lost by a few selfish shysters.  This disclosure and transparency found in Over Our Dead Bodies is what the funeral industry needs.  It is the opposite of the uptight, closed-doors privacy that too many funeral directors buy into as essential to our ideal of professionalism.

So, if you’re looking for a fun book to read on vacation; or a weird Christmas gift to give to your macabre Uncle Frank; or maybe you’re interested in what funeral directors might encounter; or you simply want to support Ken’s KAMM Cares, let me recommend Over Our Dead Bodies.

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