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So this happened:

CINCINNATI — Two people were injured in a crash Wednesday afternoon involving a hearse in a funeral procession at Colerain Avenue and Banning Road.

Hamilton County dispatch said the driver of the hearse and a Catholic priest were injured around 1 p.m.

The hearse owned by Dalbert, Woodruff & Isenogle funeral home was driving along Banning Road to Arlington Memorial Gardens when it was struck crossing Colerain Avenue. Via WCPO

Yesterday, while we were preparing the funeral procession to go to a cemetery, a woman asked me, “What do we do if the other cars don’t stop for the funeral procession?”

I answered, “You have a flag on your car, turn your four-way flashers on.  If that doesn’t work, use your horn.  If you’re horn doesn’t work, use your middle finger.”

She chuckled.

But funeral procession accidents aren’t a laughing matter.  We’ve had two accidents that I can remember.  Thankfully no one was injured, but the reality is this: most people don’t have much respect for a funeral procession.

So, here’s the rules:

1.  If a funeral procession is driving through an intersection and the light turns red, the funeral procession (usually) has the right to proceed.

2.  A funeral procession has a right to driver slower than the speed limit.

3.  If you cut off a funeral procession, give the funeral procession the middle finger, honk your horn at a funeral procession or wreck into a hearse, you’re probably an ass hole.  And, in most states, it’s a civil infraction to cut into a funeral procession.

I know life is busy.  I know you have places to go and you’re running late.  I know traffic tests your patience.  So, when you see a funeral procession, instead of getting more busy, getting more impatient, relax and reflect on the shortness of your life and how easily we get so worked up over little things that — in the big picture — aren’t nearly as important as love, laughter, family and friends.

Also, do us funeral directors a favor and slow down and/or pull over.  Thanks.

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