Archive for year 2014
Why Normal People Enter Death Care: 20 Short Stories of Inspiration
I asked this question to the Confessions of a Funeral Director community:
If you’re in (or going to be in) the funeral trade, what reason(s), experience(s) and/or event(s) inspired you to take the plunge?
These 20 very short stories help dispel the idea that funeral directors are innately money-hungry creepy people. Creepy people who stuffed their first piece of road kill at the age of 10. People who were born and wrapped in a black baby blanket and put in a coffin shaped crib with hearses and trocars dangling from our crib carousels.
Yes, death makes us different but most of us entered death care as normal, good-hearted people who want to make a living while making a difference.
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A Horrible Mix-up: When the Wrong Body is Put in the Casket
I just stumbled onto this story that dates back to 2009.
From NBC Philadelphia:
Janie Holsey told a funeral home employee that the man in the casket was not her husband.
“That’s how they look when they die,” a funeral home employee told the grieving widow, according to the Daily News.
“How they look when they die” is a completely different person in the case of 80-year-old Kenneth “Tex” Roberts at the James L. Hawkins Funeral Home at 1640 Federal St. Monday, reports the Daily News’ Kitty Caparella.
Despite Roberts’ wife’s disturbing proclamation, the funeral service went on the next day, with more than 200 mourners passing by a casket containing an unknown man dressed in Robert’s suit and clothes.
“I touched him,” Roberts’ daughter Rhonda Wearing told the Daily News. “We kissed him. Some of us thought it was him.”
But the story gets worse.
When the funeral director finally admitted to the family that there was a “mix-up,” right before the funeral was about to start, more havoc followed:
Relatives cried and children were hysterical. A 19-year-old had a seizure and a woman had an asthma attack. Both were brought to the hospital.
The man in Roberts’ casket appeared older than Roberts and relatives were told that man had been killed, said Wearing. Roberts’ body had been in a casket at the Francis Funeral Home in West Philadelphia, which is run by the same funeral director, 6ABC reported.
The horror didn’t stop there:
When the funeral employees finally located and brought the real Roberts, his legs were hanging out of a tilted casket when the hearse door was opened.
Wearing told the Daily News that the funeral employees must have driven so fast, hitting bumps, so that the casket opened.
“It was unspeakable,” she said.
By Teresa Masterson
The 20 Most Inappropriate Funeral Songs
The iPod’s plugged into the sound system. The crowd that has gathered for the funeral settles down into their chairs for the solemn event that’s about to take place. The sound guy hits “play” on the iPod and mistakenly plays the wrong song. It happens. And when it does, it’s often a song that either elicits laughter or utter disdain.
Here’s a list of songs that might cause laughter or disdain at a funeral if they accidently got some play time.
(PREFACE: As a rule, I’m keeping the songs “PG” because pretty much any song that’s “PG-13″ish and/or “R” could make this list)
One. “Staying Alive.” Fun fact: “Staying Alive” has roughly 100 beats per minute. This is the same rhythm used for CPR compressions, so CPR classes often use Stayin’ Alive to teach CPR.
Two. “Waiting for the Worms to Come” by PInk Floyd.
Three. Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust.”
Four. “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor
Five. Pretty much anything in the techno/dance genre.
Six. Vanilla Ice – Ice Ice Baby.
Seven. “I’m Alive” by Don Fardon
Eight. The Tetris theme song as the casket is being lowered into the grave.
Nine. Man in the Box – Alice in Chains.
Ten. Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead.
Eleven. Highway to hell.
Twelve. Johnny Cash’s “Burning Ring of Fire” while cremation is taking place.
Thirteen. More for the cremation playlist: The Trammps – “Disco Inferno”
Fourteen. Michael Jackson – “Thriller”, prompting all in attendance to quietly hope the corpse gets up and does the dance.
Fifteen: Cannibal Corpse. “Born in a Casket”. The name of this band and the name of this song is not nearly as frightening as the vocals.
Sixteen: YMCA.
Seventeen: Monty Python’s – Always look on the bright side of Life
Eighteen: “When you’re happy and you know it clap your hands”
Nineteen: Everybody Dance Now
Twenty: “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley. What would make this especially epic is if this song was played and the “deceased” jumps out of his or her casket and yells, “You’ve all been Rick Rolled.” Epic. Best Rick Roll eva.
There’s got to be more …
At What Age Will You Die? Find out the exact age of your death (it’s totally scientific…).
This test is an utter and complete insult to your intelligence … but it’s kinda fun.
