Archive for July, 2014
Every funeral directors nightmare just happened in Bucks County
Every funeral director has had a moment when some mechanical failure has caused a brief moment of near hysteria. A couple months ago I experienced a gurney failure while I attempted to load a deceased at the back end of a hospital. The gurney that was loaded with a deceased’s body wouldn’t collapse and for nearly ten minutes I attempted to fix it while bystanders walked by. I couldn’t fix it so I was forced to pick the deceased up in my arms and place it in the back of my pick-up van.
IT. WAS. SO. EMBARRASSING.
So, when I saw this news in my feed, I couldn’t help but feel empathy when the coroner’s rear gate of this coroner’s pick-up van apparently malfunctioned. So, if you read my blog, Mr. Coroner, I feel for ya.
Bucks County officials are investigating how a gurney, with what appeared to be a deceased person on it, fell out of a coroner’s vehicle and ended up on busy Street Road Friday afternoon.
County spokesman Chris Edwards confirmed there is an investigation into the incident, which happened in Lower Southampton around noon yesterday.
Jerry Bradley was waiting at the traffic light coming out of the shopping center that holds a Panera Bread and Starbucks when he saw the gurney come out of the green county-owned vehicle and end up in the lane of travel.
“At first I thought someone was pulling a prank, but traffic was just driving around,” Bradley told LevittownNow.com Saturday morning.
Bradley said it appeared there was a body in a bag and wrapped in a sheet strapped to the gurney. A photo snapped by the man appears to show just that.
To read the entire story click HERE.
Credit: Jerry Bradley/Submitted
A letter to a dead girlfriend
I found this letter, oddly enough, on Craigslist. Anything on the internet always has the potential to be fake. That potential only increases when it’s on Craigslist.
I have idea if this is real or fake. And I have no way of finding out. Read it for yourself.
A letter to my dead girlfriend – m4w
It has been a rough year darling. The ethereal power of Craig’s List will get this message to you I am sure, like in some sort of cheesy 80s movie.Well back to the last year, you of course died at the beginning of it which put things to a sour start. I spent last night with your mum and dad, we went to that Italian place in Wicker Park, who on the surface seem to be coping. I had everyone get together for my 25th which went well, your ladies are on top form and I think some engagements are brewing. Ellen is turning up the heat on Steve who will soon be forced down to one knee as you predicted.Last weekend I finally took the step of cleaning out your clothes from the closet, which is very barren now. I invited your friends over to take your what they liked, it was an awkward session. I think they took them more as a favor to me than anything else. Liz cried when we pulled out all of your shoes, Miranda joined in and then Catherine broke down. It was strange to stand in our bedroom surrounded by three crying girls. I made a joke about them crying for joy at the prospect of some free Manolo Balhniks which they didn’t seem to find very funny.A few girls have put the moves on and as you know picking up women is not a forte of mine. It seems the grieving boyfriend seems to be a good angle. Who knew! I went on one date and spent it talking about you, the poor girl. You would have found it quite witty I think. No other dates to report, I am going against your orders to move on for now.I found one of those hair tie things that somehow managed to squeeze into every crevice in the apartment. It was under the bed. I sat on the floor holding it and cried. Until then I had held everything together but it just all came flooding out.Every morning when I wake up I forget for a fraction of a second that you are gone and I reach for you. All I ever find is the cold side of the bed. My eyes settle on the picture of us in Paris, on the bedside table, and I am overjoyed that even though the time was brief I loved you and you loved me.Love,P.
The 2008 Men of Mortuaries Calendar
The Men of Mortuaries Calendar lasted two years. This 2008 calendar is by far more spicy than the 2007 and it’s also the last edition. Although, after speaking with Ken McKenzie over the phone (the creator of the 2007 and 2008 calendar), he would consider bringing the calendar back if there was enough popular demand. Maybe even do a women’s calendar.
On Monday, I’ll also be reviewing Ken’s new book (co-authored with Todd Harra [Mr. January]) “Over Our Dead Bodies”.
All the proceeds from the Men of Mortuaries Calendars, as well as the proceeds from the book go to fighting breast cancer. So, you can fight breast cancer by buying Ken and Todd’s book and reading their funeral tales.
So, go ahead and buy the book HERE. But before you do, enjoy these shirtless male morticians.
13 Things that Make You Say “NOPE”
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Shudder. 
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This is a real magazine. No thanks. 
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Le Van, a Vietnamese man, keeps his “dolled up” wife at his home, long after her death. After Le Van’s wife died and was buried in 2003, he began sleeping on top of her grave every night. When the weather got nasty, he dug a tunnel down to the casket so he wouldn’t get rained on. In November 2004 – more than a year later – he finally dug up the body and took it on home. To keep his wife’s corpse nice and fresh,Van molded her skin with plaster and clay, dressed her up, and put on a little lipstick. In 2009, he reported that she slept on the bed with him, and that his eldest of three children hugged her every night before turning in.
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Edgar Allan Nope. 
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There. I fixed it. 
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A Lenin Cake
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Kittiwat Unarrom, a talented artist from Thailand, uses his skills to create unique loafs of bread shaped like various human body parts.
Kittiwat has experimented with many art forms, from painting to sculpting, but it wasn’t until he had to return home and take over the family bakery that he discovered his true passion – making grotesque-looking bread.
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Sending His Ashes on an Ocean Journey
His ashes made it to Florida! So one of the owners of a hotel, Judi was walking on the beach this morning cleaning up the junk that washed into shore and finds a bottle with a message in it. There is also some sand and 2 one dollar bills.
Once we get it open and read the notes we find out that it is in fact NOT sand. It is the ashes of this woman’s husband of 70 years named Gordon. She writes that He loved to travel so she sent him traveling in a bottle with a note and money for someone to call home and tell her where he landed. He started at Big Pine Key in March of 2012 and then went to Islamerada where someone found him. They added a note and sent him traveling again and he landed on our beach in Key Colony.
Judi called the wife in Tennessee who was excited to know of Gordon’s travels! Judi added her note, we put him in a rum bottle (you know added a little fun to his trip) with the three notes. We added another dollar in case Gordon travels far and a long distance call is needed. We will be having a memorial service or celebration of his life on our beach later today before sending him on his way again. Via Cochran Mortuary & Crematory
