Imagine you’re a neanderthal. You’ve yet to develop language, and your other communication skills are pretty primitive. Now imagine you’re hunting in the woods with your Winchester Model 70 Featherweight (they had those back then). All of a sudden you bump into something and your “fight or flight response” is activated. Should I point my […]
One. Nudist Funeral. From an embalming perspective, laying out a nude nudist for a viewing would be difficult. Displaying a naked body for a viewing would mean that I’d have to hide all my sutures through some expert waxwork, and I’d have to make sure the embalming fluid was evenly distributed to stave off any odd […]
I motioned to where he should park his car in the funeral’s procession line. He threw it in park. Got out, straightened his tie, looked me in the eye and said, “I hate these thing.” I get told a variation of that line at least once a month. People don’t like funerals. Here’s ten reasons […]
Death’s taken some heat lately … he’s taken James Gandolfini. Paul Bearer. Tom Clancy. And let’s be honest, Death is due all the criticism he gets. But, Death isn’t really that bad of a guy. He’s just a normal dude with a difficult job. As an effort to vault Death’s public perception, Death is looking to create a […]
I’ve never heard of hazing practices in the funeral industry (although I’m sure it’s happened). And, thankfully, I’ve never been hazed. But if it was common place to haze interns, here’s what hazing might look like in the funeral industry: 1.) At 2 AM in the morning you call out Intern Johnny and say, “Johnny, […]