Archive for year 2014
35 year old pens obituary. Admits to being Spiderman.
Aaron Joseph Purmort, 35, died from a brain tumor he was diagnosed with in 2011. Aaron’s wife has been documenting his medical battles on myhusbandstumor.com. She wrote upon his death:
“It’s over. It wasn’t a war or a fight. Those things have rules. This was more like Aaron getting in the ring with the Mohammed Ali of cancers, and smiling for round after round after he got his teeth knocked out and his face rearranged. Ding. It ended today at 2:43pm, in the middle of a run-on sentence, my head on his heart and my arms around him in a hospital bed built for one, but perfect for the two of us.”
Aaron and his wife co-wrote Aaron’s beautiful, witty and droll obituary:
Purmort, Aaron Joseph age 35, died peacefully at home on November 25 after complications from a radioactive spider bite that led to years of crime-fighting and a years long battle with a nefarious criminal named Cancer, who has plagued our society for far too long. Civilians will recognize him best as Spider-Man, and thank him for his many years of service protecting our city.
His family knew him only as a kind and mild-mannered Art Director, a designer of websites and t-shirts, and concert posters who always had the right cardigan and the right thing to say (even if it was wildly inappropriate). Aaron was known for his long, entertaining stories, which he loved to repeat often.
In high school, he was in the band The Asparagus Children, which reached critical acclaim in the northern suburbs. As an adult, he graduated from the College of Visual Arts (which also died an untimely death recently) and worked in several agencies around Minneapolis, settling in as an Interactive Associate Creative Director at Colle + McVoy. Aaron was a comic book aficionado, a pop-culture encyclopedia and always the most fun person at any party.
He is survived by his parents Bill and Kim Kuhlmeyer, father Mark Purmort (Patricia, Autumn, Aly), sisters Erika and Nicole, first wife Gwen Stefani, current wife Nora and their son Ralph, who will grow up to avenge his father’s untimely death.
A service will be held on December 3, 2014 at Shelter Studios, 721 Harding St. NE, Mpls 55413 at 6 pm.
Here’s a short video of the couple’s love story that was recorded BEFORE Aaron’s death.
Funeral Dove Release Fail
These kind of things happen.
Customized Caskets for Five Children Killed in Texas House Fire
Trey Ganem’s Facebook page reads, “Trey designs the most unique caskets on the market today . He will give that loved one the personalization they deserve to celebrate their life.”
When five children died in a house fire, Trey was asked to design five personalized caskets for each child. He agreed and did so for free.
Via KHou
One for Noah, an Edna High School varsity football player, whose casket is coated in his school colors, along with his name and jersey number.
Another for Nicholas, who liked video games, and whose casket is lined with the popular game “Call of Duty.”
Julian, who loved WWE professional wrestling.
And the two sisters, Areyanah and Lilyana, who loved different characters from their favorite movie, “Frozen.” Their caskets feature each of their names, with princess crowns on top.
Here are some of the pictures:
Death can bring out the worst; but it can also bring out the best in humanity.
Going Out Like a Boss: Eight Things You Need for an Very Expensive Funeral
As a preface, let me say that I don’t believe a funeral should ever strap a family economically. I believe that honoring the deceased has very little to do with a costly funeral. And I also believe that frugality is a wonderful practice when it comes to death and death care.
But, IF you wanted to go out like a boss, here’s eight things you might need.
1. You’ll need to buy a grave plot at Woodlawn Cemetery, Bronx, N.Y.
Basic burial plots cost $4,800. Mausoleum crypts cost up to $1.5 million.
2. The Golden Casket
This beautiful piece of artwork costs around 40K.
3. You’ll need to be famous.
Most of the cost of the world’s REALLY expensive funerals goes towards logistics.
For instance, Whitney Houston’s funeral reportedly cost the singer’s hometown $187,000 in police overtime. Pope John Paul II’s funeral had four kings, five queens, 70 presidents and prime ministers and 14 leaders of other religions attending; it’s estimated that the security, organization, etc. cost roughly 10 million.
4. Russian Embalmers
Kim Jong-Il was the Supreme Leader of North Korea from 1994 to 2011. When he died, North Korea paid Russian embalmers nearly one million dollars to embalm the Supreme Leader’s body. I can’t imagine what a one million embalming job would look like.
5. This must be your hearse (The Rolls Royce Phantom Hearse)
6. You will need the Juliet Rose flower.
Via The Richest
Making its debut in 2006 at the Chelsea Flower Show, the Juliet Rose took the world by storm by its elegance and beauty. It took David Austin 15 long years to create this beautiful flower. The Juliet Rose is also known as the £3 million rose, which is equivalent to approximately $15.8 million.
7. Build an Egyptian Pyramid Tomb.
© 2013 David Stanley, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio
It’s considered nearly impossible for us — even with our modern construction equipment — to build one of the famous Egyptian pyramids / tombs. But, if it were possible, it would be at an estimated cost of nearly five billion dollars. Comparatively, the new One World Trade Center in New York cost an estimated four billion dollars.
8. Be Ronald Reagan.
Although it’s not a funeral cost per se, it is a cost caused by Ronald’s death. Here’s the figure from The Richest:
During the United States’ official Day of Mourning, stock markets closed, federal workers were given the day off and media outlets focused on nothing but the funeral services. And while a Day of Mourning is standard practice for the death of a president, when Functional Ambivalent crunched the numbers, the $400,000,000 tax payer bill for a federal vacation day sent heads spinning. If you add to that amount the estimated costs for state services, security and cost to networks, some speculate that the total expenses related to Reagan’s funeral may have reached as high as $800 million or even $1 billion.
Black Friday at the Funeral Home
At 6:30 AM Friday morning the funeral home doors opened. This was the situation at 6:15.
This book sold out within the first hour:
Our “Two Funerals for the Price of One” was awarded to the first 15 customers in the arrangement room. Edna, Mary, Shirley, Evelyn and Ruth wait patiently to cash in on this special sale.
A melee broke out over our limited number of 80% off Funeral Director Lego set. Unfortunately, one of the participants involved in the melee passed away; fortunately, they passed away at a funeral home.
The highlight of the morning came at 10 AM when Tim Cook explained the advantages of the New RiPod over the RiPod 2.
As their wives wait in anticipation, Joe Schilling and Tom Johnson fought over a half-price casket:
The Barbie play set was sold out in 10 minutes.
In our “Used” section, customers took full advantage of our products, such as the one pictured below:
Finally, Adam Sweaty camped out in front of the funeral home for five days to be the first in line for this beautiful discounted Ford Mustang Hearse.
