Wishing For a Place Where I Don’t Exist
I wrote and sang this song back in 2004 for a class in my funeral service program. There’s a video that goes along with it (and was a rad amateur vid for 2004), but the video is rather violent. You can view it here if you wish, but be forewarned that it not only contains violence, but it also has a number of heavy curse words.
The idea of the song is that some people’s lives are so messed up that they hope there’s a place where there is no existence. It was inspired by a friend of mine in high school, who was abused as a child and used drugs to blunt the pain. He was also raised in a Christian family and believed that his actions warranted hell.
His hope was that he could die and there would be neither heaven or hell, but simply nothing … a place where he can’t feel pain, hurt or even happiness. If there is nothing after death, and life is full of pain … for many suicide is the only respite they can imagine. And while I don’t know what happened to my friend, I hope he found life offered in Jesus.
The song itself starts at the 1 minute, 51 second mark.