Today’s guest post comes from Lauren Polanski.  Lauren is just like any other twenty-two year old girl besides for the small fact that she’s a licensed funeral director in New York State. Lauren is currently employed at the Lakeside Memorial Funeral Home, Inc. located in Hamburg, NY. When not working she enjoys reading, taking photographs and of course, writing about the funeral industry as seen through her eyes.


Last week was really busy. This week hasn’t been really busy. I’ve very thankful because it’s nice to have a break every once in a while. I was even able to get a haircut this week. I don’t remember the last time I got a haircut. And it made me think, you know average people can go and get a haircut whenever they want. Average people have schedules. Average people have normal days off. I’m not average. Not many funeral directors are. I like to think we’re above average people, but maybe I’m being biased. But I did come up with a new list. So, here we go.

The Top Five Things You Should Know About Funeral Directors.

5. Funeral Directors are a little crazy.

You must have seen this coming, right? I mean, what average person wants to work with dead people? I find myself pondering this question more and more. I mean, “normal” people view death as a bad thing. We fight to live. Everyday. And here is a select group of people, who in fact have devoted their lives to taking care of the dead. Maybe one day I’ll find time to run some tests. See if funeral directors drank from the same water source. Or maybe all of our mothers ate oranges when they were pregnant. I mean, is there some kind of common connection that unites us all? Maybe I’m thinking too much into this. Because, I mean, yeah. We’re all just crazy. Simple as that.

4. Your funeral director can party harder than you.

Besides for me. I’m an exception. I can’t even party harder than your eighty-six year old grandmother. Maybe I could beat your eighty-seven year old grandfather but even that would be pushing it. But please, don’t judge us for this. Funeral directors work in a very stressful, very emotional environment. If I want to have one drink at the end of the day to wind down then sue me. And if there is a funeral director convention somewhere with a bar I am willing to bet money on the fact that the funeral directors will close the bar at the end of the night. We like to have fun, too.

3. There is no such thing as the “end of the day” for a funeral director.

You might work a nice little job in a nice little office. Maybe you come in at eight in the morning, have a lunch break around one, and clock out at 4:00 pm. When that phone rings at 3:55 pm you probably let the machine get it and think, “I’ll take care of it tomorrow.” I wish. Funeral directors are on call twenty-four/seven. Imagine it. Because, I mean, if dad dies at 4:05 pm I can’t “wait till tomorrow”. I have to take care of dad now. We get tired fast. So please, even though you’re grieving, be nice to us. We just want to help. And we may be acting on little sleep.

2. Funeral directors have a “funny” sense of humor.

I mean, this kind of ties in with us being crazy, but it’s still different. Let me go into detail. My boss bought a wine bottle holder because it looked like a casket. He also has a golf club in the shape of a coffin. So yeah, we take our job to the extreme. Oh, and we’re not above dumb jokes. We’ll be the first to tell you that “we’ll be the last to let you down” or to “party like a mortician and grab a cold one”. Some jokes can be in better tastes than others, but working in the field that we do we learn to appreciate the little jokes and funeral gadgets in life.

1. We are human.

I am a girlfriend. I am a daughter. I’m a sister, a cousin, a granddaughter, a niece. I am apart of a family. Although my career is a huge aspect of my life, it is not my whole life. I like to go to the movies. I like to go shopping. I also enjoy embalming, but I guess we all have our flaws. I guess the point I’m trying to make is this; please, remember that we’re just like you. The only difference is that I work with dead people. And contrary to popular belief, I try to go home at the end of the day. So I’m not always at the funeral home. So please, if at all possible don’t make that call at eight at night to ask about what color flowers would be best for moms wake. All the floral shops are closed by this time anyways so I can’t do anything about it. I’m probably trying to enjoy a few quiet hours by myself. Although we want to help and we love helping, being considerate when at all possible is a great thing. We bend over backwards to make a hard time easier for you. All I ask if for a little piece and quiet at night to rest up. I hope that’s not too much to ask.


The other thing you should know about funeral directors … we love it when you read our blogs.  Lauren’s blog — which is well worthy of your subscription — is at

And the another thing … we like it when you follow us on twitter.  You can follow Lauren’s personal account and her blog’s account.

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