YOU’RE DOING FUNERALS ALL WRONG!!!
There’s a problem that I want to address. And that problem is dishonorable funerals.
Somewhere along the way, the funeral industry has convinced us (deathcare workers as well), that the ONLY honorable funeral is the traditional funeral (i.e., embalming, casket, full burial and everything that goes with it).
But let me tell you this: if you think an honorable funeral is ONLY a traditional funeral, YOU’RE DOING IT ALL WRONG!!!
An honorable funeral has nothing to do with a viewing. It has nothing to do with caskets. It has nothing to do with a nice cemetery lot. It certainly doesn’t exclude those things, but none of them are necessary.
It’s a dishonorable funeral if you make it all about a traditional funeral and burial.
Somewhere along the way, we’ve become convinced that an honorable funeral is about how much money we spend.
An honorable funeral has nothing to do with how much money you spend.
It’s not about the quality of casket you buy. Or how many flowers flank either side of the casket.
If you think an honorably funeral is about the money and stuff, YOU’RE DOING IT ALL WRONG!!!
Conversely, we’ve become convinced that an honorable funeral is all about how much money you can save.
That the focus should be on frugality. On not falling into the traps laid by the funeral industry.
On cremation. And simplicity. And dying as quietly and silently as possible.
If you think a funeral is about beating the system, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!!!
It’s about the people that come to the funeral, we think.
But an honorable funeral has never had anything to do with numbers.
It has nothing to do with how many or how few people come to it.
If you get caught up in WHO is going to be at a funeral, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!!!
Somewhere along the way, we’ve been convinced that an honorable funeral is all about the religious element.
But if you think honorable funerals are about which church hosts the funeral, what pastor or priest is doing the eulogy, and which religious cemetery you’re being buried at, YOU’RE DOING IT ALL WRONG!!!
An honorable funeral is so much more than the religious element.
Somewhere along the way, we’ve become convinced that an honorable funeral is about how environmentally friendly we can make it.
An honorable funeral is one that honors the earth. That you can’t have an honorable funeral without a biodegradable casket and a green burial.
I want my body to go green when I die, but if you think a funeral is about your footprint, YOU’RE DOING IT ALL WRONG!!!
Because any funeral that’s honorable is about the deceased. Sometimes honoring the deceased
can involve spending money,
it can involve being frugal,
it can involve a traditional funeral,
it can involve being environmentally friendly (and this is an option we all should know about),
it can involve your friends and extended family,
and it can involve a religious element or none at all.
BUT IF IT’S ABOUT ANY ONE OF THOSE THINGS, AND YOU LOSE FOCUS ON THE DECEASED, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!
Funerals are simple. Really. It’s about us expressing our love for our dead. Cheesy, I know. But when we take the time to acknowledge a death and express our love towards the dead (however that may look), you’re doing it right. Because acknowledging and expressing our love for our loved ones sits at the heart of honor. And acknowledging and expressing our love for our dead loved ones sits at the heart of an honorable funeral.
If you like my writing, consider buying my 2017 Nautilus Book Award Gold Winner, Confession of a Funeral Director (click the image to go to the Amazon page):