Archive for year 2014
Ten Things to Hate about Me
About a week ago I posted “Ten Things We Use When Embalming”. And just like previous posts that touch the sacred cow of embalming, I was burned (mostly by other funeral directors). Here’s an example: 
Wow.
Okay.
Um …
I get it. I put myself out on facebook, twitter and my blog and not everyone will like me.
In addition to that remark, this last month has brought some disapproving assessments such as “You’re a disgrace to the funeral industry.”, “You should quit.”, “(your content) shouts inappropriate and trashy” and that I’m “completely nuts.” Because the value of the conversation about death and funerals outweighs the negative comments, I’m okay with the criticism. In fact, I welcome it, knowing that criticism and even hate are all apart of this important conversation.
But, if you’re gonna hate, let me help. Let me help by attempting to put your feelings into words. I think we can have a better conversation if you know WHY you hate me. So, here are ten:
One. I represent a rather avant-garde approach to death and funerals.
I like tradition. Most of us do. Tradition becomes a part of who we are. And when some young guy like me comes along and starts talking about and questioning a part of your tradition, it’s like I’m questioning and talking about you. It’s like I’m demeaning you and your tribe.
Two. I don’t treat death as sacred as you might like me to.
In my opinion, death and the funeral industry aren’t like the sacred Ark of the Covenant … something that can only be talked about and handled by the professionals … something that’s hidden behind layers of veils. I’ve removed the veil. I don’t treat it like it’s a distant abstraction. I think it’s real and near. I weave humor into it. I don’t think it’s only for the professionals. In fact, I think – in one way or another – we all have a right to talk about it. And yes, even Tweet about it.
Three. I’m a millennial. A “young person”. A part of the “net generation.”
I just make the millennial cut.
I do not see things in absolutes like you may. I see the world differently. I’m not looking for metanarratives; I don’t believe that one size fits all, and so I don’t believe one type of funeral ritual is good for all. I see multiple stories, many narratives and I realize that each narrative, each community is looking for something different in both life and death.
Four. I’m writing my blog for the “net generation.”
My generation isn’t interested in the funeral business as much as they’re interested in the people of the funeral business. I – my story, my narrative, my life, my thoughts – will be the foundation of my sustainability as a funeral director. Not necessarily marketing, the new “personalized” merchandise, the next great package or even an awesome webpage (my website looks as dated as a Nokia clam shell). My story — good and bad — will shape my future in this industry. And being able to tell that story in social media is the means to that end.
Five. I’m willing to be transparent.
Maybe even too transparent? Because I think transparency is akin to vulnerability. And vulnerability is one of the keys to connecting with people who breath the internet.
Six. I’m a bronie.
Just kidding. Okay, maybe I like My Little Ponies a tiny, tiny bit.
Seven. I like Mother Earth.
I don’t think that this world is something we should use and abuse because there’s another, better world in the life beyond. I don’t think earth is a playground that we can mess up because REAL life starts after this one. I believe this world is special … that we should treat it as such. And while I serve, honor and respect people who want embalming, I’m moving towards natural burial as a more environmentally friendly and psychologically healthy method of disposition.
Eight. I’m a heretic.
Yes, my desire to move away from industrialized funerals, including embalming, is considered heresy for some. You’re welcome to burn me on social media. Just don’t use real fire. Please. I have skins. I burns. It hurts.
Nine. It’s not just that I’m writing for the younger generation, it’s also that I’m young and I have a platform.
I’m not using my platform to “tell everyone how it SHOULD be done.” I’m sharing my thoughts and inviting a conversation. I want the conversation, even if it leads down a path I’m not comfortable with. Just so we’re clear. And yes, I’m young. I’m 33.
Ten. I like Nickelback, The Twilight Series and … I’m not a big fan of cats. Sorry.
Inches from Death: 10 Close Call GIFs that Will Make You Feel Alive
Sometimes we just need some reminders that we’ve all been inches from death on multiple occasions. Here are some happy reminders: 
Five Fabulous Artisan Urns
Today’s guest post is written by Adrienne Crowther, Founder and Owner of Shine On Brightly:
As cremation rates continue to soar, we see more and more of the same old urns on every shelf, and on every website.
Not all cremation urns are the same……although most of the mass-produced urns look the same! Here are five urns that I think are fabulous. They’re all handmade by artists with quality, devotion, time, and care. Just as the homemade apple pie tastes of the love and care with which it is made, so is true with hand-crafted art pieces.
Fabulous Urn # 1: “Earth and Sky” Ceramic Urn
This unique design features a watertight flower insert, which can be used to hold natural or silk flowers. The vessel is hollow, to hold ashes throughout, and the flower insert can be siliconed into the slot to ensure that the contents are secured within the piece. Dimensions: 10″”h x 11″”w 230 cubic inches
Fabulous Urn #2: “Riverstone Urn” Ceramic Urn
These gorgeous ceramic urns are thrown on the potter’s wheel using a fine white earthenware clay. The firing process is influenced by Mexican and Native American pit firing technique and Korean, Chinese and Japanese Bizen traditions. These are truly the most beautiful urns we’ve seen that are made with this technique. While the Riverstone Urn is great for the standard Adult Size, mini-Keepsake Riverstone Urns, and Double Size (Companion Urn) Riverstone Urns are also available. Dimensions: Approximately 7.5″H x 9″W Capacity: 200 cubic inches
Fabulous Urn #3: “Faithful Friend” Wood Urn
This is one of the most exquisite wooden vessels we’ve seen yet! Not only is the format a wonderfully inventive concept, but the craftsmanship is impeccable. The round case sits on two graceful legs of ebony, which is also used at the top of the case as hinges for the doors which swing up and out diagonally. Open the case to fine a strikingly elegant vessel to hold the remains. Its unique shape, velvety smooth surface, and swirl patterns inherent in this wood combine to make this a stunning piece for any collector. Dimensions: approximately 15.5 high x 15 wide x 7 deep
Fabulous Urn #4: Blue Venetia Glass Cremation Urn
This is a very graceful piece. The wavy fanning lid sits atop a lovely round globe of rich color. This piece is available in the following colors: angel white with silver accent, blue with silver leaf, yellow, and amethyst with silver leaf. Dimensions: 9″” x 11″ Capacity: 254 cubic inches
Fabulous Urn #5: Large “Flowers” Bronze Cremation Urn
These exquisite bronze urns are cast in the ancient form of Lost Wax Method to produce museum quality, fine art castings. They are first created in clay, and then cast in bronze. All urns are cast to order and will require 4 to 6 weeks to complete. This artist is also available for creating completely customized, one-of-a-kind pieces. The large sized “Flowers” urn is suitable for an adult. It can be sealed upon request. Dimensions: 9.25″ high, 8.5″ diameter Capacity: 202 cubic inches; weighs 13.5 oz.
*****
Shine On Brightly (www.shineonbrightly.com) is an online gallery for artist made cremation urns and memorials. The company is committed to marking our lives with beauty and art. Every person is unique, and so should be the object that memorializes a loved one. The online collection features several outstanding new designs straight from the artists’ studios. Adrienne Crowther is the Founder and Owner of Shine On Brightly.
Barbie Doll Mummification: A how-to guide for morbid children
This from Geyser of Awesome:
If you’re looking for an awesome rainy day or ‘It’s way too hot to go outside today’ activity, why not have a go at Barbie doll mummification? It’s all kinds of morbid, geeky fun. Heather and her daughter Izzy started with a trip to the library and some research to create an adorably macabre step-by-step “How to Make a Mummy” list. Then the gathered and/or made all the necessary materials. Barbie’s internal organs and ceremonial death mask are paper cutouts. They used a seam ripper in place of the special tool that ancient Egyptians used to pull the brain out through the nose and a shoebox for the sarcophagus and burial chamber. They also included a tiny toy kitty, because they were sacred to the Egyptians and sometimes part of the burial process.
Visit the Kids Activities Blog for additional photos and a complete description of the Barbie mummification process.
The Corpse Bride of Mexico: Is this a dead girl or a mannequin?
This from Oddity Central:
La Pascualita or Little Pascuala is a bridal mannequin that has “lived” in a store window in Chihuahua, Mexico for the past 75 years. That is quite a long time for a bridal gown shop to retain a mannequin, but then the dummy has a rather strange history behind it.
La Pascualita was first installed in the store window on March 25th, 1930, dressed in a spring-seasonal bridal gown. Soon, people realized that the mannequin closely resembled the shop’s owner at the time, Pascuala Esparza. It didn’t take long for them to come to the conclusion that the dummy was in fact the embalmed body of her daughter, who had died recently on her wedding day after being bitten by a Black Widow spider. This revelation did not go very well with the locals, and they started to express their disapproval. But by the time Pascuala could issue an official statement denying the rumors, it was too late. Nobody was willing to believer her. The daughter’s name has been lost over time, and ‘La Pascualita’ stuck through the years.
Here are the photos:
Here are my thoughts:
1. Embalming. We’ve seen Lenin and other famous corpses last for years upon years, BUT their bodies have been meticulously cared for by people in the know. Sure, an embalmed body might last a couple years, but for it to be kept in pristine condition, it would have to be continuously cared for by people with some degree of technical skill. If La Pascualita is a corpse, seventy-five years is an impossibly long time for it to remain in such good condition.
2. Climate. A consideration in the longevity of an embalmed corpse is the climate it’s in. If it’s in a dry, arid environment it has a longer chance of lasting (example, the Egyptian mummies). La Pascualita is located in Chihuahua, Mexico, which “lies on the western side of the Chihuahuan Desert ecoregion and as such has a semiarid climate.” Moisture is the kryptonite of an embalmed corpse. The fact that La Pascualita exists in a semiarid environment does help the argument that it’s an embalmed corpse.
3. The hands. If La Pascualita is a wax mannequin or any other type of mannequin, the hands are just too intricate.
4. The facial features. When you embalm a person “hard” (thoroughly flush them with strong embalming fluid), the lips and the eyelids will noticeably “dry out.” They will start to act like a piece of beef jerky in that all the moisture will leave the tissue, leaving it shrunken and wrinkled. IfLa Pascualita is embalmed, the facial features would probably be noticeably dried out. The face simply looks too supple. Of course, the “drying out” could be fixed with the right kind of cosmetology wax.
5. My conclusion. I doubt La Pascualita is a corpse. It simply looks too good to be a 75 year old embalming job. If the corpse is meticulously maintained, I suppose it’s possible (especially in a semiarid environment), but it highly unlikely.
Honestly, though, those hands are the mystery for me. They just look too real.
