Friends, you’re not a failure!

When your loved one dies, you haven’t failed them.

When you haven’t practiced the best self care because death has consumed you, you’re not a failure.

When you go back to work and you’re still grieving just as hard as ever, you’re not a failure.

When the decision is made to take your loved one off of life support, you’re not a failure!

When you can’t decide on what music your loved one would want for the memorial service or what outfit they should wear for the viewing, or the type of food for the luncheon, you’re not a failure.

If there’s tension in your family — with your siblings or children — you’re not a failure.

If you’re just getting by or you can’t do it and you have no idea how you’ll go another day, you’re not a failure.

If you need to ask your doctor to increase your antidepressants, if you need to see a therapist, if you need to be alone and away from people, you’re not a failure.

If you need people in your life, you’re not a failure.

If you need help, you’re not a failure.

If you’re angry at the deceased, or you’re not grieving the way you think you should be (FYI, there’s no right way), if you feel guilty, or you laugh and feel some joy, you’re not a failure.

If you’re finding new love, you’re not a failure.

If you “missed the (sickness) signs”, you’re not a failure.

If you haven’t done the laundry and there’s a pile of dishes in the sink, death is messy and you haven’t failed!

It isn’t your fault.  It wasn’t your fault.  You can’t stop death.  Like the setting of the sun,it comes, and when it does, never be ashamed of your humanity.

Please add your own “If (fill in the blank) you’re not a failure!”in the comments below!

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