This song is not meant to condone suicide.  Rather, it is an attempt to empathize with those who struggle with suicidal thoughts, feeling and actions. 

I wrote and sang this song back in 2004 for a class project in my funeral service program. There’s a video that goes along with it (and was a rad amateur vid for 2004), but the video is rather violent. Be forewarned that it not only contains violence, but it also has a number of heavy curse words.  If you wish to bypass the video, you can just play the audio via SoundCloud.

The idea of the song is that some people’s lives are so messed up that they hope there’s a place where there is no existence.  It was inspired by a friend of mine in high school, who was abused as a child and used drugs to blunt the pain.  He was also raised in a Christian family and believed that his actions warranted hell.

His hope was that he could die and there would be neither heaven or hell, but simply nothing … a place where he can’t feel pain, hurt or even happiness.

The song itself starts at the 1 minute, 51 second mark.

Non-existence by Caleb Wilde

Suicide Video from Caleb Wilde on Vimeo.

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